You probably know someone who struggles with a chronic illness (or maybe you do), whether physical or mental; they are all debilitating and more often 'invisible' to those around. Here are some quick tips I have learnt over the years that have helped keep things under control for me; I hope they can help you also.
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I have lived with a chronic illness for the past 28 years and have come up with some basic strategies that have helped me cope; these tips are practical and can be used in other areas of your life, as well as with other chronic illnesses.
My Top 7 Tips Are:
1) Know Your Triggers:
My top six triggers are:
- Stress
- Heat
- Exhaustion / Being run-down
- Eating badly
- Weight gain
- Hormones
Everyone is different, so what triggers me may not trigger you, but sometimes it's hard to pinpoint these – so by sharing, it might give someone a lightbulb moment. However, some of those triggers, e.g. stress, tends to be something that affects us all in different ways.
Think about what may trigger you. If you are unsure, keep a small notebook or journal, keep a close eye on activities / food / stress you're under, and then note the days you notice a reaction, no matter how small. As you continue with this practice, you'll start to see things that occur regularly and always bring on minor reactions. Eventually, what starts small will become significant if these things keep happening. Get on top of these issues/behaviours before you start to suffer and your reactions are minor.
I have had it pointed out that toxic people/environments in your life can also be a big trigger, and I can relate to this. It is a more complicated issue to address and may require firm boundaries to ensure physical and mental health. It also may be something you can't handle alone; if this is the case, then get the support of your partner or a close friend, and ask them to help you put some safety measures in place and keep them.
2) Eat Well
Food plays a massive role in our physical and mental health, there is a lot of research on this, and it is common sense; however, we all know that common sense doesn't mean easy! In the early years, other than weight gain, I didn't believe that food played as significant a role in my health and flare-ups as it does. Through trial and error (loads of error), I realised I had so much power in my hands. Then once I got married and we had the children, suddenly things started to make more sense; not only do we have severe intolerances to deal with, we also want to ensure our children grow up strong and healthy.
So basic rules in our house are:
1) Eat unprocessed food as much as possible (trust me, it's not an everyday thing)
2) Takeaways are just for treats
3) Minimal (or no) sugar, gluten and dairy (mainly due to intolerances and health issues, not because we're fanatics)
We're not perfect, and the kids enjoy McD's and Pizza Hut as much as the next child, but we work on the 80/20 principle. If we eat reasonably healthy 80% of the time, the other 20% will look after themselves. But my body lets me know when I have been overindulging in sugar and high carbs, so when this happens – it's back to basics again for a while, detox the body and regain control of those sneaky cravings.
3) Get Outside and Exercise
Fresh air and sunshine play a huge role in mental health, and mental health plays a huge role in physical health, so it's a win-win for everyone when you can get outside regularly and soak up that Vitamin D.
Exercise may look very different to you than what it looks like for others – depending on what kind of chronic illness you are dealing with, so when I say exercise, I mean pushing yourself a little bit each day. I can now go out running a few times a week without too many side effects, but there was a time when I could barely crawl to the shower due to the pain, so I understand the struggle exercise can be. On days when the pain is so intense, you can't do anything; then you need to rest – listen to your body. But on the days when things are feeling manageable, these are the days it's worth just getting out and trying a little bit. Start very slow, though; overdoing it may push you backwards again, so do what you can do, and build up very slowly; it may feel insurmountable, and it may feel ridiculous, but every little bit helps, and you will get stronger and fitter as time goes on.
The stronger and fitter you feel, the better you cope both physically and mentally, with flare-ups and setbacks as well!
4) Sleep
I cannot emphasise how important sleep is for healing your body – it is by far the most significant thing you can do. Get at least a good 7-8 hours a night if possible; when you're in the middle of a flare-up, you may want to sleep for the blessed relief, but the pain is obstructing you. All I can suggest is that you go to your doctor and ask for some pain relief, or even just a few sleeping pills, to help you catch up on yourself. Lack of sleep is one of the most negative experiences anyone can deal with, so be kind to yourself if you're struggling, but start to find ways to stop the cycle.
Set yourself up with an evening routine; many things can be included in this, but pick your top 3-4 things that resonate with you, and slowly include them in until it becomes second nature. Still, these things take a while to make a difference, take little steps, and add in one thing at a time.
- 15 Minute pick up around the house
- Prep for the next day (breakfast, clothes, kids etc.)
- Get off the screens a good hour before you go to bed
- Read a book
- Have a cup of herbal tea
- Do some meditation
- Listen to a meditation app
- Listen to some quiet music & do some stretching
- Put some essential oils on
- Plan your next day
- Journal
5) Focus On Gratitude
One thing I know is that gratitude can completely change your perspective. There is always something in your day worth being grateful for (and trust me, there were many days when it doesn't feel like it – I get that). Another thing I have had to remember is that there is always someone worse off; this is not downplaying our pain and our circumstances, but it is something I have taken into account on those rough days. My illness doesn't limit my life expectancy; it doesn't limit my ability to be a good Mom or wife; it doesn't limit how I look after myself or my family – it may change the way I do this some days. It may mean the kids make their dinner that day or get takeaways, but there are people out there who are struggling more than me on any given day.
Start your day, or finish your day (whatever makes sense for you) with gratitude. I started by writing three things I was grateful for, and I challenged myself to make sure what I wrote wasn't the same as the day before. I use an app on my phone called "Presently", it sends me a reminder at 9 pm every night to do these gratitudes, and this is the first time I have managed to be consistent with this aspect of life.
6) Self-Care
Be gentle and make sure you look after yourself; find a few things that fill you up, and help you feel better. These may be as simple as having a long bubble bath by candlelight or painting your fingernails, but choose a few things that help you refocus. Have a list somewhere, and on those days where the pain, exhaustion or emotions become too much – take a look and choose something to do for yourself that will help you refocus and recentre. Some days are just hard, and we need to be gentle with ourselves, and this is okay.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Bubble bath (by candlelight or not)
- Paint your nails
- Get a haircut
- Put some makeup on
- Read a book
- Have asleep
- Watch a movie
- Go for a walk
- Do some arts/crafts
- Colour in
- Play computer games
- Buy some junk food (I don't advocate this, but sometimes you NEED chocolate)!
- Write in your journal
- Ring a friend
- Go out
- Meditation / Prayer
- Put some music on
You get the idea, find a few things that work for you, and make sure you go gentle on yourself when things get a bit rough.
7) Get Support & Be Honest
My final tip is to find some support – this may be in the form of online support groups, or it may be a close friend(s) or family; someone who understands, or at least is prepared to drop everything and listen to you when you're having a bad day. There is nothing like a physical hug from someone when you're so sore you can't even think straight. We all need support; we can't do life alone. So find your people, hang on tight to them, and don't be afraid to ask for help.
But one thing I know – is that there is nothing like someone else who is living through it and totally and profoundly understands the pain. There is just a connection that is different to any other. That depth of understanding is hard to come by, so if you can find a local support group or even an online support group, then do it, attend those meetings, get involved and be as active as possible. It makes such a difference to say, 'I am sore today; it's been a rough day' and know the other person understands and empathises without having to explain what you mean.
So while these points are very general and don't necessarily work for everyone – they are an excellent place to start for anyone struggling with life, chronic illness or not! Please let me know in the comments if you have anything you can add to this list that would help. I am always open to new ideas and interesting ways to change my day for the better!
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